AVG 12.5

Chapter 12 (The Seekers Understanding of Abiding in Awareness): Verse 5
आश्रमानाश्रमं ध्यानं चित्तस्वीकृतवर्जनम् ।
विकल्पं मम वीक्ष्यैतैरेवमेवाहमास्थितः ॥ १२-५॥

PURPORT:
A conventionally designated stage of life
or none of such customarily nominated
stages or a sense of inward rumination
or a repudiation of what has been endorsed
by the mind; I discern all of these to be
contrivances that obscure my inner clarity.
Thus, I truly abide in still tranquility.

TRANSLITERATION:
आश्रमानाश्रम् ध्यानम् चित्तस्वीकृतवर्जनम् ।
āśramānāśram dhyānam cittasvīkṛtavarjanam ।
विकल्पम् मम वीक्ष्य एतैः एवम् एव अहम् आस्थितः ॥ १२-५॥
vikalpam mama vīkṣya etaiḥ evam eva aham āsthitaḥ ॥ 12-5॥

MEANING:
āśramānāśram (आश्रमानाश्रम्) = stage of life or no stage of life (compound of āśrama (आश्रम) meaning 'designated way/denominated stage of life' and anāśram (अनाश्रम्) meaning 'no stage of life/devoid of a designated stage in ones life'). Please see verse 1.5 for a brief description of the 'stages' of one's life that is referenced herein.
dhyānam (ध्यानम्) = meditation/introspection/rumination
cittasvīkṛtavarjanam (चित्तस्वीकृतवर्जनम्) = repudiation of what has been endorsed and accepted by the mind (compound of citta (चित्त) meaning 'mind' and svīkṛta (स्वीकृत) meaning 'accepted/welcomes/endorsed' and varjanam (वर्जनम्) meaning 'abandon/reject/renounce')।
vikalpam (विकल्पम्) = false notion/contrivance/distraction/artifice
mama (मम) = my
vīkṣya (वीक्ष्य) = having discerned/having seen
etaiḥ (एतैः) = by these
evam (एवम्) = thus
eva (एव) = indeed
aham (अहम्) = I
āsthitaḥ (आस्थितः) = abide/exist ॥ 12-5॥

COMMENT:
Janaka here looks at his past happenings and draws our attention to his conflicted sense of renunciation where he is unsure whether he is supposed to fit into certain culturally appropriate phases that one is 'supposed' to fit into wherein perceptions constrain the person to act in a prescribed manner that is supposed to heed to mores, standards and 'pre-approved' behavior. A state where one is in a perturbed mode of seeking and is constantly attended to by doubts that relate to belonging or not belonging.

This mental turmoil in the seeker results when the mindset of the seeker is tuned and channeled by two phenomena that constantly reinforce each other - the external phenomena of name-and-form that the seeker is constantly immersed in and the internal phenomena of consciousness within the seeker. Name-and-form from cultural exposure gives shape, substance and expression to the consciousness while the mental processes that account for consciousness allows for the integration of disparate name-and-form impingements to be channeled into a world-view that molds the developing ego. It can almost be imagined as the duo of name-and-form and consciousness as equivalent to two bricks standing vertically on their edges propped up and balanced out by each other.  It is then seen that from name-and-form as a requisite condition, consciousness springs and from consciousness as a requisite condition, name-and-form springs - constantly fortifying and boosting each other. Propped upon these bricks is the entire sensory world whose inputs are modulated and conditioned by these twin towers (name-and-form and consciousness).

Janaka mentions that his previous conflicts stemmed from name-and-form and conditioned consciousness reinforcing and resonating - this foundational buttress did not allow the seeker to experience clarity inherent in the awareness that comes from oneself. This vacillation produced a sense of conflict within Janaka that was not overcome until now. Janaka now realizes that all phenomena are without any form of concrete identity nor named fixity, and clearly understanding and perceiving the inherent malleability of experienced reality, Janaka is slowly starting to garner the skill necessary so that he may project what he chooses to project into the canvas of consciousness. Nothing more, nothing less.

In this sense, the choiceless nature of observance and the non-biased state of witnessing of phenomena become the steps by which one gets to that aspect of awareness. Through the practice of awareness, the one who becomes aware manages to mold and shape the underlying foundation from which volitional activity arises, thereby transforming their own inherent consciousness and clarity itself.